Tales of a Yummy Mommy: Work, Hard Work

As her eyes fluttered half way between awake and asleep, Ariel's final words to me at bedtime were, "Mom, can I go downstairs and work on my grade 1 workbook?"
"No, sweetie. You can work on it in the morning. Go to sleep."
I know, I know what you're thinking: bedtime stall tactics. That may well be so, but I can't get over the transformation in Ariel's work habits and work ethic between Kindergarten and Grade 1 - she's like a new kid; one who really wants to do well in school. That kid's a sponge, soaking it all up - every last drop. The teacher in me couldn't be more pleased.
While Ariel is striving to master all the new skills and concepts being thrown her way, I'm doing my best to support her. She often needs my help, and she's hard to ignore. However, I'm aware of another little sister - the one caught in the middle - who also needs my help. She's the quiet little mouse who's happy enough to lounge on the couch watching the world go by, munching her bagel (even though she's supposed to be sitting eating it at the table).
Elyse is the rebel child. There is so much I had time to do with Ariel that I am not finding the time to do with Elyse. Ariel and Penelope eat up that time, often taking more than their fair share.
With Elyse entering the printing stage, and her senior year of Kindergarten, I want to urge her on, and help her practice these essential skills. She needs to get into the habit of working - learning to write isn't going to just happen on its own, and I am well aware of the demands of grade 1 (I realize how ridiculous that sounds writing it - but it's true!).
Elyse is at her best first thing in the morning. I lucked out today, in that Penelope fell back asleep after I nursed her at 7am, and so I had most of the morning just me and the big girls before school. I decided to pull out Elyse's Handwriting Without Tears workbook, and after we built the shapes with wooden lines, Elyse worked on drawing crosses on one page, and printing the letter 'L' on another. Elyse is working on acquiring the concepts of 'top, bottom, and middle', which makes printing tricky. Where does one start a letter without the concept of 'at the top'? Where does the letter end, without understanding, ' at the bottom'? How does one strike a line through the 'middle', without knowing where that is? Knowing how to hold the pencil is difficult enough on its own without knowing where to do so ('near the bottom'?), as is the amount of pressure to exert on the page. We have our work cut out for us.
Ariel wrote out her dictee words twice, read me a book, then filled out 6 pages of her HWT workbook - effectively completing the book she began in the summertime (thus her request for the subsequent new workbook at bedtime). Her work pace is quickening exponentially. She's the kid who needs to be reminded to slow down.
Knowing where your kids are at, and knowing how to help them; pacing, these are the challenges.
Then there's Penelope. Elyse is starting to view her as somewhat of a threat, and this plays out in dangerous ways. Elyse physically pushes Penelope out of her way, or removes an object from her hands and tells her "no", because she can. As they sat side-by-side on the bottom step today, both working on removing their shoes, I could see why - Penelope is catching up. Penelope is a bright kid (a genius baby, actually), and she's picked up on many of the things her sisters do, and is following right along. She follows simple instructions, says simple words, plays simple games, and toddles all over the place. In essence, she's in Elyse's space. She's yelling louder than Elyse, and playing Elyse's games. Using all the good toys. I get it. Penelope will soon be working on some of the same skills Elyse has yet to master.
Elyse is also a bright girl, and she gets this. She doesn't like it, this encroaching on her space, in her zone of development. I get that.
This is where it's up to us, as the parents, to teach our children to respect each other's pace, each other's development. That faster doesn't always mean better; that slower doesn't mean bad. That we all get there at our own speed. And that's okay.
My concern with Elyse is that when she gets frustrated, she gives up as a means of rebellion, as a refusal of humiliation. It's easier to do nothing than to become frustrated or get it wrong. The goal is always to find ways for her to succeed, so that she may feel successful; her successes breed future success. Finding ways to engage Elyse in learning sounds like her teacher's job - and it is; but, as any parent who's a teacher also knows, teachers don't always have the time for one-on-one. Rarely, will your child get one-on-one. There's a lot of work that has to happen at home.
And so, in between dance class, and changing diapers and making dinner, and cleaning up, we will make it happen. The only thing I won't sacrifice to do so is the girls' time for fun and play. Their time to be kids. Being a kid is still their most important job.

The girls hard at work this morning: